I suppose now would be a good time to come clean and state out front that I am now more a Christian than I am an atheist. My little game of playing atheism was fun for a while but it wasn't really something that matched up with how I really feel.
It is odd that someone supposedly as analytical as myself should be making statements like these, but I think that it is my overly analytical self that is partially to blame. The virtually religious devotion to the suppression of emotion and wonder at all God has done in the name of a scientific view of the same without God were getting to be too much for me. Perhaps my atheist friends would say that I have cracked. But in response to them I would say that their philosophy wasn't enough.
Indeed, I should say that I am seeing once again a pattern has repeated itself many times in my life. I have adopted some idea or other preached by others, carried it around with enthusiasm, done several stupid things I have regretted in the name of the idea, and then rejected it. But let us suppose for the moment that I have indeed cracked and not lived up to my previous Nietzschean Übermensch doctrines.
Given this pathetic state then, I can only hope that the blood and other fluids that will flow from my broken shell will serve to benefit others. May this quixotic quest against the calm and churning faiths carried largely in silence in the hearts of others never be repeated again. And may others learn from me.
About Me
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Girl: Musings on a Strange Encounter
I'd been sitting in my class for far too long, working on an assignment I didn't like and sitting among kids I couldn't stand. I had contemplated going and telling Mr. Dube that I wanted another group to work with, as my present company was too dim-witted to be able to discern between the pencils and pens they held in their hands various parts of their bodies. However, looking at the other members of the class and the rather limited gene pool they represented, I decided that any attempt to find an alternative group would be a futile one at best and a way to start a fight and further showers of insults at worst.
And so, I excused myself, ostensibly to go to the bathroom.
"Mr. Dube," I said. "I have to go to the washroom."
"Okay," he said, allowing me to leave.
Exiting the classroom I roamed the hallways looking for the closest exit from the school. I hated high school.
I saw a girl walking in my direction – someone new perhaps. At any rate, I had never seen her in this school. As she approached, she said, "Kevin," smiling and letting out a slight laugh perhaps in embarrassment at some task or other that she knew she needed to perform and which required her to speak with me. She sounded as though she and I had done something or been somewhere together, perhaps on a trip of some kind. In fact, her voice, crisp and somewhat low-pitched, sounded familiar.
But before I could respond she was gone.
And now I sit here typing at my computer, some fifteen years after the incident, comfortably employed though in the midst of the recession of 2009. I think of the girl every now and again. I think that I should have said something to her - at least asked her who she was. I wonder what role she thought she played in my life that necessitated her greeting me with such familiarity despite our being unacquainted. And the gears of my mind set into motion as I try to fill in the gaps.
What would her name have been? Laura? No, Laura doesn't sound like the name of a girl who speaks with a crisp and raspy voice. Candice? Again, too plain. Lindsay! Yes, that is a name which allows for the strangeness of voice and the echoes of acquaintance long forgotten. What would Lindsay have been doing roaming the halls of Fern Pond Secondary School? Well, I suspect that the obligation she felt toward me will soon betray her purpose....
Lindsay glanced at the kids in the hallway as she walked. She knew her way around, through, and over the intricate protocols of high school life. Yet she was completely alien to the whole thing. She was here looking for one person, for the young man who was troubled and in need of something to do with the rest of his life. He didn't know it yet, but he would face a lot of problems later on and she was here to steer him away from them. There was the bus that would hit him exactly ten years, four weeks, two days, twenty hours, ten minutes, and thirty seconds from now. But for the fact that the youth would at that time be ruminating about her appearance today he would most certainly be killed.
"Kevin," Lindsay said, letting out a tiny puff of laughter at the prospect of causing the boy, prone as he was to excessive thinking and daydreaming, to ponder her appearance ten years from now. The kid, looking a bit surprised, walked onward without glancing back much less thanking Lindsay for saving his life.
And then there was that big guy who was planning at that moment to accost the ungracious and wholly ignorant young man. Lindsay calmly approached him and struck up a conversation. Hot young girl with raspy voice and generous smile. Can't go wrong there. And so the brute made other plans.
That night, in her mobile hut, Lindsay celebrated her mission and its success. She thought of the poor and ignorant Kevin, who by no fault of his own, did not know her and yet was so much her friend. She and Kevin had been on many trips together to strange places. She remembered the time they had visited Ezannia and seen the flying monks of Osasto performing their sacred rites, or the time they had quested after Orin in the Belt System.
But these were other places, other times. The Kevin she'd seen today was a pale and dim shadow of the young man she knew. His life was a tragedy, a fall from a paradise he never knew existed and a relief from duties he couldn't begin to imagine.
“And so,” Lindsay said to herself, parodying the hilarious line from Monty Python's Flying Circuis, “Let's forget about him and follow instead one Kelvin Basir.”
She looked at the new orders that had just come up on her laptop screen. Kelvin was a promising young fellow. He had his share of difficulties but he wasn't beyond saving.
Her mobile hut began to whir, and fade from view, producing a psionic wave of mis-perception and amnesia. Nobody had been here, Lindsay was a figment of your imagination, her hut was a trick of the light in the forest near the Marshe's trailer. Both it and Lindsay never existed except in stories and books and even then they went by different names and different roles.
And so, I excused myself, ostensibly to go to the bathroom.
"Mr. Dube," I said. "I have to go to the washroom."
"Okay," he said, allowing me to leave.
Exiting the classroom I roamed the hallways looking for the closest exit from the school. I hated high school.
I saw a girl walking in my direction – someone new perhaps. At any rate, I had never seen her in this school. As she approached, she said, "Kevin," smiling and letting out a slight laugh perhaps in embarrassment at some task or other that she knew she needed to perform and which required her to speak with me. She sounded as though she and I had done something or been somewhere together, perhaps on a trip of some kind. In fact, her voice, crisp and somewhat low-pitched, sounded familiar.
But before I could respond she was gone.
And now I sit here typing at my computer, some fifteen years after the incident, comfortably employed though in the midst of the recession of 2009. I think of the girl every now and again. I think that I should have said something to her - at least asked her who she was. I wonder what role she thought she played in my life that necessitated her greeting me with such familiarity despite our being unacquainted. And the gears of my mind set into motion as I try to fill in the gaps.
What would her name have been? Laura? No, Laura doesn't sound like the name of a girl who speaks with a crisp and raspy voice. Candice? Again, too plain. Lindsay! Yes, that is a name which allows for the strangeness of voice and the echoes of acquaintance long forgotten. What would Lindsay have been doing roaming the halls of Fern Pond Secondary School? Well, I suspect that the obligation she felt toward me will soon betray her purpose....
Lindsay glanced at the kids in the hallway as she walked. She knew her way around, through, and over the intricate protocols of high school life. Yet she was completely alien to the whole thing. She was here looking for one person, for the young man who was troubled and in need of something to do with the rest of his life. He didn't know it yet, but he would face a lot of problems later on and she was here to steer him away from them. There was the bus that would hit him exactly ten years, four weeks, two days, twenty hours, ten minutes, and thirty seconds from now. But for the fact that the youth would at that time be ruminating about her appearance today he would most certainly be killed.
"Kevin," Lindsay said, letting out a tiny puff of laughter at the prospect of causing the boy, prone as he was to excessive thinking and daydreaming, to ponder her appearance ten years from now. The kid, looking a bit surprised, walked onward without glancing back much less thanking Lindsay for saving his life.
And then there was that big guy who was planning at that moment to accost the ungracious and wholly ignorant young man. Lindsay calmly approached him and struck up a conversation. Hot young girl with raspy voice and generous smile. Can't go wrong there. And so the brute made other plans.
That night, in her mobile hut, Lindsay celebrated her mission and its success. She thought of the poor and ignorant Kevin, who by no fault of his own, did not know her and yet was so much her friend. She and Kevin had been on many trips together to strange places. She remembered the time they had visited Ezannia and seen the flying monks of Osasto performing their sacred rites, or the time they had quested after Orin in the Belt System.
But these were other places, other times. The Kevin she'd seen today was a pale and dim shadow of the young man she knew. His life was a tragedy, a fall from a paradise he never knew existed and a relief from duties he couldn't begin to imagine.
“And so,” Lindsay said to herself, parodying the hilarious line from Monty Python's Flying Circuis, “Let's forget about him and follow instead one Kelvin Basir.”
She looked at the new orders that had just come up on her laptop screen. Kelvin was a promising young fellow. He had his share of difficulties but he wasn't beyond saving.
Her mobile hut began to whir, and fade from view, producing a psionic wave of mis-perception and amnesia. Nobody had been here, Lindsay was a figment of your imagination, her hut was a trick of the light in the forest near the Marshe's trailer. Both it and Lindsay never existed except in stories and books and even then they went by different names and different roles.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
January Aphorisms
1. That God exists and that he does so on multiple levels and in multiple ways is plainly obvious to any observer of Christianity. That he is steward and stewarded is a fact known for the most part subconsciously to the men we call clergy. An understanding is a creature. Thus it is a creation of God. A conception is a creature. Thus it is a creation of God. God is a creature. Thus he is a creation of God.
2. The Christian is both creator and consumer. When she is a follower she is a consumer of the creations of men - particularly theologians. When she is a leader she leads herself insofar as she places herself under God's leadership alone.
3. Theology, by detaching itself from God and focusing instead upon hermeneutic group think, betrays its true nature as atheism hidden from itself. What then is my own theology?
4. Communion with God and love for him is the greatest crime any Christian can commit. He has strayed from the flock and sought out not the shepherd but the Creator himself. But the straying is not the true crime. It is the arrival at the destination at which the creator is truly to be found that is the crime.
5. I don't know good from evil since I've seen the one posing as the other enough times to know how capricious the two definitions really are outside the mind of God.
2. The Christian is both creator and consumer. When she is a follower she is a consumer of the creations of men - particularly theologians. When she is a leader she leads herself insofar as she places herself under God's leadership alone.
3. Theology, by detaching itself from God and focusing instead upon hermeneutic group think, betrays its true nature as atheism hidden from itself. What then is my own theology?
4. Communion with God and love for him is the greatest crime any Christian can commit. He has strayed from the flock and sought out not the shepherd but the Creator himself. But the straying is not the true crime. It is the arrival at the destination at which the creator is truly to be found that is the crime.
5. I don't know good from evil since I've seen the one posing as the other enough times to know how capricious the two definitions really are outside the mind of God.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Quantum Physics
I've recently decided to get into cosmology again. This is partially motivated by a desire to be more of a citizen of the world and indeed of God's universe. Spirituality necessitates a good understanding of the cosmos. In fact, I would not hesitate to blame ignorance of cosmology for a good number of the problems our civilization faces. After all, nothing stops greed or self interest in its tracks quite like contemplating the vast size of our galaxy and then realizing that it is only one among several thousand probably composing a tiny fragment of a several-billion-light-year-long filament of galaxies, that filament itself bordering a region of strange emptiness several more billion light years across. Human civilization is nothing compared to the sizes and time scales of these galactic structures.
But that's not what I wanted to write about here. Instead I want to turn to quantum physics - an important part of cosmology. From what little I've read of quantum physics I've come to understand that it discusses ideas like the following:
It seems that quantum physics has been abducted and forced against her will to perform all manner of cheap parlor tricks for the gullible and ignorant masses which, as evidenced by the huge sales of books like "The Secret" and films like "What the Bleep do we Know?", comprise a generous part our society. Quantum physics can be found propping up claims on the websites of some spammers. Why take a university course on the subject of quantum physics when a financial guru can explain the basics to you, allowing you to "learn exclusive secrets of Quantum Physics, Mind Secrets, Psychic Powers, Real Magic, Astrology, Wealth Creation, Miracle Healing, The Meaning of Life?"
In the minds of many members of the public, quantum physics may be considered to be among the pseudo-sciences.
The idolization of science as a kind of standard by which all of our thinking is to be weighed is not difficult to see in our society. The young-earth creationist is idolizing the secular establishment she claims to be dismantling when she tries to appeal to this or that scientific theorem in order to disprove evolution. Science's rejection of metaphysical beliefs as a part of reasoning is echoed in the Christian apologist's charge that the atheist is in fact a man of faith. Pots and kettles are both black, so there is evidently little harm in one calling the other on its colour.
Furthermore, the stamp of approval from the scientific community is highly prized. One need only consider advertisements for products like drugs or toothpastes to see the stamp and the implicit message that "our product is approved by scientists and is thus best for you."
Since we are taught to idolize the sciences it only makes sense that we should make use of them as a kind of anchor for our optimism. Forget that the collapse of the probability wave is random and not dependent upon the state of mind of the observer. It just sounds better when I say that events which cannot be predicted with a high degree of certainty, when observed by me, coalesce in response to my observations and so I therefore create the universe around me.
Patri Jia Kom, along with the fictional characters in The Lair of the Gods, would agree with me when I suggest that in fact quantum physics is being used by many a credulous fool as a kind of belief to promote positive thinking. If my state of mind influences the events around me by virtue of some unknown theorem of quantum physics then why not always remain an optimist?
But Kom is correct only so long as her hypothesized method of anchoring emotional states inside of beliefs allows for its user to detach himself from the beliefs and set them aside when it is time to return again to reality. Otherwise she is advocating the subjugation of the masses to ignorance and superstition.
I thought I'd write this tired little rant to appeal to all past or present students of the sciences (whether science majors or just aficionados) to please please please familiarize yourselves with the basics of quantum physics, if only to ensure that there is a counterbalance to the credulous masses (whose existence was arrived at earlier in this post through indirect observation) who apparently think that positive thought and the right attitude are all you need in order to rearrange the cosmos for your benefit.
But that's not what I wanted to write about here. Instead I want to turn to quantum physics - an important part of cosmology. From what little I've read of quantum physics I've come to understand that it discusses ideas like the following:
- Particles may be understood both as particles and as waves.
- Attempting to determine the position of a particle will affect its momentum and thus upset it
The Whore
It seems that quantum physics has been abducted and forced against her will to perform all manner of cheap parlor tricks for the gullible and ignorant masses which, as evidenced by the huge sales of books like "The Secret" and films like "What the Bleep do we Know?", comprise a generous part our society. Quantum physics can be found propping up claims on the websites of some spammers. Why take a university course on the subject of quantum physics when a financial guru can explain the basics to you, allowing you to "learn exclusive secrets of Quantum Physics, Mind Secrets, Psychic Powers, Real Magic, Astrology, Wealth Creation, Miracle Healing, The Meaning of Life?"
In the minds of many members of the public, quantum physics may be considered to be among the pseudo-sciences.
The Idol
The idolization of science as a kind of standard by which all of our thinking is to be weighed is not difficult to see in our society. The young-earth creationist is idolizing the secular establishment she claims to be dismantling when she tries to appeal to this or that scientific theorem in order to disprove evolution. Science's rejection of metaphysical beliefs as a part of reasoning is echoed in the Christian apologist's charge that the atheist is in fact a man of faith. Pots and kettles are both black, so there is evidently little harm in one calling the other on its colour.
Furthermore, the stamp of approval from the scientific community is highly prized. One need only consider advertisements for products like drugs or toothpastes to see the stamp and the implicit message that "our product is approved by scientists and is thus best for you."
Kom's Response
Since we are taught to idolize the sciences it only makes sense that we should make use of them as a kind of anchor for our optimism. Forget that the collapse of the probability wave is random and not dependent upon the state of mind of the observer. It just sounds better when I say that events which cannot be predicted with a high degree of certainty, when observed by me, coalesce in response to my observations and so I therefore create the universe around me.
Patri Jia Kom, along with the fictional characters in The Lair of the Gods, would agree with me when I suggest that in fact quantum physics is being used by many a credulous fool as a kind of belief to promote positive thinking. If my state of mind influences the events around me by virtue of some unknown theorem of quantum physics then why not always remain an optimist?
But Kom is correct only so long as her hypothesized method of anchoring emotional states inside of beliefs allows for its user to detach himself from the beliefs and set them aside when it is time to return again to reality. Otherwise she is advocating the subjugation of the masses to ignorance and superstition.
Conclusion
I thought I'd write this tired little rant to appeal to all past or present students of the sciences (whether science majors or just aficionados) to please please please familiarize yourselves with the basics of quantum physics, if only to ensure that there is a counterbalance to the credulous masses (whose existence was arrived at earlier in this post through indirect observation) who apparently think that positive thought and the right attitude are all you need in order to rearrange the cosmos for your benefit.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
God
In a recent documentary Richard Dawkins asserted something to the following effect: A lot of people, when they give up God feel a great sense of release and freedom. When I became an atheist I did so in response to and with respect to a certain individual / figure. With respect to the God of Neil Anderson I suppose I am an atheist since, returning again to Dawkins, we are all atheists with respect to untold pantheons of gods. With respect to the God of doctrine or of catechism or of any other kind of barrier which prevents immediate one-on-one contact with this person I am an atheist.
What I am not, however, is an atheist with respect to God, a figure whose definition and essence I shall leave to the reader's imagination. I hope the reader will be courteous enough to return the favour.
To those I have hurt over this past year, I am very sorry.
What I am not, however, is an atheist with respect to God, a figure whose definition and essence I shall leave to the reader's imagination. I hope the reader will be courteous enough to return the favour.
To those I have hurt over this past year, I am very sorry.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Submission and All That
1. A woman who asserts that women ought to submit to their husbands should not say "women should submit to their husbands," but rather she should say something like the following: "I want my man to dominate me. I want him to tell me what to do and I want him to make the decisions for me."
2. Similarly, a man who advocates the submission of men to their wives should not say this of all men but rather he should say it thus: "I want my woman to dominate me. I want her to press upon me her demands day and night and I wish no choice in the matter of my obedience to her every whim."
3. One who does not agree with the marriage between two gays should not press others to side with him. Rather, he should say, "I do not want to marry a man. I only want a woman." Likewise, a woman who does not agree with marriage between lesbians should not discourage it in lesbians but instead be content to say, "I don't want to marry a woman. I only want a man."
4. That God is to be found not in something outside of the human mind but rather in the noise of the crowd is most loudly demonstrated by the Christian's demands for this or that law to be passed or repealed in order to further the Kingdom of God. In so acting, the Christian says quite clearly that God is either incompetent or lazy. I will leave to the reader the task of determining a third possibility for I fear that my Christian readers might catch the vapors were I to put it into words.
5. Most terrifying to the Christian is the specter of a Creation Mandate which demands not only that the Creation be cultivated and developed by human beings but also that God himself be so evolved and gestated. Yet where is there a Christian who does not practice at least the second half of this latter mandate?
6. It is a very insecure experience to be beautiful in the dark.
2. Similarly, a man who advocates the submission of men to their wives should not say this of all men but rather he should say it thus: "I want my woman to dominate me. I want her to press upon me her demands day and night and I wish no choice in the matter of my obedience to her every whim."
3. One who does not agree with the marriage between two gays should not press others to side with him. Rather, he should say, "I do not want to marry a man. I only want a woman." Likewise, a woman who does not agree with marriage between lesbians should not discourage it in lesbians but instead be content to say, "I don't want to marry a woman. I only want a man."
4. That God is to be found not in something outside of the human mind but rather in the noise of the crowd is most loudly demonstrated by the Christian's demands for this or that law to be passed or repealed in order to further the Kingdom of God. In so acting, the Christian says quite clearly that God is either incompetent or lazy. I will leave to the reader the task of determining a third possibility for I fear that my Christian readers might catch the vapors were I to put it into words.
5. Most terrifying to the Christian is the specter of a Creation Mandate which demands not only that the Creation be cultivated and developed by human beings but also that God himself be so evolved and gestated. Yet where is there a Christian who does not practice at least the second half of this latter mandate?
6. It is a very insecure experience to be beautiful in the dark.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
December Musings
1. There once was a river whose name now escapes me. At the centre of this river there was a massive and imposing rock, standing in defiance against God's Creation. All round it the vibrant waters flowed, not an atom of them awed by the rock's grandiose presence. No, for each particle of the water life moved on and change was a comforting norm. But the rock stayed, left behind by each molecule, pieces of it gradually drawn into the current.
Every now and again this or that wise sage would pass by the river at the spot wherein the rock's edifice proudly stood. The less observant locals would note that the rock had changed, growing smaller and smoother with each passing year. But the sages knew better. Change was not the rock's doing but rather the slow and relentless progression of a thousand brisk individuals living and dying and carrying aloft fine, stale particulates.
2. That atheism is finest which has as its object something in which to refuse to believe. That atheism is most religious which boasts of a positive assertion - that is, which drops the "a" from its name.
3. An atheist may be just as lazy as a theist. That is, he may refuse all his life to experience first hand the consequences of his metaphysics and elect instead to beat a hollow drum of dogma.
4. It is a mistake to believe that only higher learning requires a long and laborious process of inculcation. A person may be trained in stupidity with as much fervor as she may in truth and wisdom.
Every now and again this or that wise sage would pass by the river at the spot wherein the rock's edifice proudly stood. The less observant locals would note that the rock had changed, growing smaller and smoother with each passing year. But the sages knew better. Change was not the rock's doing but rather the slow and relentless progression of a thousand brisk individuals living and dying and carrying aloft fine, stale particulates.
2. That atheism is finest which has as its object something in which to refuse to believe. That atheism is most religious which boasts of a positive assertion - that is, which drops the "a" from its name.
3. An atheist may be just as lazy as a theist. That is, he may refuse all his life to experience first hand the consequences of his metaphysics and elect instead to beat a hollow drum of dogma.
4. It is a mistake to believe that only higher learning requires a long and laborious process of inculcation. A person may be trained in stupidity with as much fervor as she may in truth and wisdom.
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