Submission and All That

1. A woman who asserts that women ought to submit to their husbands should not say "women should submit to their husbands," but rather she should say something like the following: "I want my man to dominate me. I want him to tell me what to do and I want him to make the decisions for me."

2. Similarly, a man who advocates the submission of men to their wives should not say this of all men but rather he should say it thus: "I want my woman to dominate me. I want her to press upon me her demands day and night and I wish no choice in the matter of my obedience to her every whim."

3. One who does not agree with the marriage between two gays should not press others to side with him. Rather, he should say, "I do not want to marry a man. I only want a woman." Likewise, a woman who does not agree with marriage between lesbians should not discourage it in lesbians but instead be content to say, "I don't want to marry a woman. I only want a man."

4. That God is to be found not in something outside of the human mind but rather in the noise of the crowd is most loudly demonstrated by the Christian's demands for this or that law to be passed or repealed in order to further the Kingdom of God. In so acting, the Christian says quite clearly that God is either incompetent or lazy. I will leave to the reader the task of determining a third possibility for I fear that my Christian readers might catch the vapors were I to put it into words.

5. Most terrifying to the Christian is the specter of a Creation Mandate which demands not only that the Creation be cultivated and developed by human beings but also that God himself be so evolved and gestated. Yet where is there a Christian who does not practice at least the second half of this latter mandate?

6. It is a very insecure experience to be beautiful in the dark.